I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
