Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Drake has all the answers
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
