Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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