he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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