broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize