how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
