Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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