Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
