I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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