I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
