Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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