remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
