you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
