were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
