I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
