The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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