I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
