Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everclear isn't food dammit
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
