hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize