dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize