You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
