Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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