Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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