so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
