My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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