PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
