Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I want to fling myself into the sun
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
