i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
