no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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