the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
