just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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