i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I could make wine with my vomit
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
