White coat. Heels.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
