its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
