There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
