Whatcha textin bout Willis?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
