i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
