I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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