i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
