Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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