He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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