capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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