im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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