New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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