Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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