no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize