he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
