this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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