I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You're like the curious george of whores
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
