You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
