So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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