Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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