dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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