Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
