I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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