i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
