I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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